
Hello All! This is Matt. Ruhiyyih is taking a blogging break and asked me if I wouldn't mind writing a guest post for her, and you – her faithful readers. She's my best friend, and I can be a little adventurous, so I was delighted to take the challenge.
Fair warning: Get on your reading glasses, and get a cup of coffee – I write like I talk.
Do you know how when you meet new people, you get asked all kinds of things about yourself? Like the old stand-by, “What do you do?”. And on hearing about a certain special lady: “Oh, are you engaged?”, and so on. And when you meet these new people, and answer these questions, it's like explaining it for the first time, but all over again. (And again, and again.....)
So, I had the opportunity to do this today. Also it's also fun to tell the story that Ruhiyyih and I have, partly because I'm a big fan of hers, and because it's not one you hear everyday.
So here's my take on our history, leading up to there being an “us”:
We met just over 10 years ago in college at a college church group (SALT Co. for those of you who don't know it). She was 19 and I was 23 at the time. She was a new Christian, and I had just graduated the year before and was working for the college pastor.
One of the first things that either of has a record of (Ruhiyyih keeps a journal) is we sat by each other on the bus on the way to the Fall Retreat, and I taught her some worship songs.
We went on 2 mission trips that year together. The first was to Truth or Consequences, NM. I have pictures of us together with other team members. The other trip was a multi-team trip the Bay Area in CA.
I also have a picture of just she and I in disco clothes at the SALT Disco party from Winter Retreat 1999. I was floored when I found them (“No.Way.”) because I hadn't looked at my college photo books in years. Pretty cool.
Then she went to work at Yellowstone that summer, and I moved to Santa Cruz, CA. Back in 1999, I had an email account, but it wasn't near as ubiquitous as it is now, so we lost touch.
Random event: Through a miscommunication with a friend, I ended up ride-less at SeaTac airport New Years Eve, 2002. While in baggage claim, I hear my name called out, turn around to see ....Ruhiyyih?
“What are you doing here?”“We're picking up Drake (college pastor).... What are you doing here?”
Yadda, yadda, yadda, I have New Years Eve with Ru at her sisters place in Renton. I fly back to CA New Years Day and not long after this, Ruhiyyih goes to China.
Fast forward to this last summer: I get connected to a friend from the SALT college days on Facebook that Ruhiyyih is already Facebook friends with and we get re-connected.
The rest is history, as the expression goes. It's been an amazing 10 months so far, and I feel it's just the beginning.
So, we both get asked all the time “When are you getting married?”, “Are you engaged yet?”, “When are you going to pop the question?”.... or more directly friends may say “Just marry the girl already!”.
Yes, yes, we get it – I get it. And I would love nothing on Earth more.
However, this leads us to the lesson in economics. Ru and I were talking and laughing about this earlier today, and I'll try to break it down for you here:
Current Economic Conditions + ($10/hr Temp Job x less than full-time hours) – bills – flight tickets – cost of ring's = Not Engaged YetIt's a rough calculation, but you get the idea....
So now there is an “us”. Ruhiyyih is my best friend. She's the only person I talk to every day. Unfortunately reality is upon “us” and even a basic engagement and wedding takes $. Growing up isn't always fun. : (
But, there are so many 'buts' that come out of this (and hopefully they don't make your butt itch ;) Tib). The distance has had it's blessings, even though sometimes it is hard. We have made use of every available communication technology available to man – email, texting, Skyping, phone calls. It has forced us to talk, and boy can we talk. For hours, and hours. I think 5 hours or so in several phone calls one Saturday.
Even the waiting for a job & the heartache that it is has had good benefits: I now really desire what God has for me more than anything else. If God opens the door for a job, I want it; if He doesn't, I don't want it. That's awesome!
Wanting to move forward, buy a ring, get engaged and get on with life and not being able to yet is difficult, and painful sometimes. Just being apart and feeling like it is wrong is painful. But we both believe that God has a plan for us. And so we can humor our circumstances now, in spite of it all. In the meantime, we are enjoying what we do have in each other, making the most of our situation, and it's been an adventure.