(Photos by Stephen Elliot)
Story by Ruhiyyih's new fiance, Matt :)
When I look at the ring, or see it in one of our pictures, or just think of on her hand, I see God's Wonderful, Incomprehensible, Love, Provision, Mercy & Grace.
Really.
The story (short version) is that one of Ruhiyyih's friends offered to give me the ring so we could get engaged. This friend and Ruhiyyih have * never * met in person. And I have never met her either. She offered via email message to me; and besides this amazingly gracious offer, also had the sensitivity to sort of peremptorily apologize in case merely offering the ring might offend my masculine desire to “earn it myself”.
Let me say, there was never a need to apologize for anything. I'm humbled, and honored. Whether this surprises anyone reading this or not – it was never a question to me that I would accept this. It was obviously from God from my vantage point. He was using a person to be a vessel for that blessing, but it was from him.
One thing that she said in particular was that since God was extravagant with grace toward us all, she could be extravagant with what He had provided in the first place. I'm paraphrasing a bit, but that was the “message”. She shared that she had felt like God was leading her to use this ring to bless someone with and had even explored other means of doing just that to no avail. It's as if all other doors were shut, until we came along.
Again, I believe it is all God – his gift, his timing, his open doors (or not).
The thing about gifts is that you don't earn them. You can't. If you could, it wouldn't be a gift, it would be a paycheck. I don't feel like my employer is “doing me a favor” when payday comes around: I did the work, I earned the pay. Hmm, this seems like it's in the Bible somewhere... (Romans 4:4)
God's Grace is a gift to us. We can't earn it. What we deserve is to die, be separated for eternity and suffer judgment. That's what we've earned according to God's Word. (Romans 6:23 & 3:22-24) BUT – and it's a big “but” - what get from God is Grace, offered freely as a gift, if we want it.
We can say no if we want. I could have said no to the ring if I wanted. It's conceivable my pride could have got in the way. It didn't. Was I offended? No way! Am I offended that although with God I deserve death, separation and judgment, I am offered eternal life as a gift instead? (At the risk of being redundant) Again, no way.
I really do believe the ring is from God, direct to us, by way of a human vessel. And it's not just a “get us by ring”, it's a really beautiful ring with a giant rock on it. It's way bigger than I could have bought myself, even if I had the decent job that we've been praying about for months now. And that is just like God too – to bless you with something really, really good and not just enough to scrape by with. If we had received a “starter” ring that would have worked for us – plenty of people can't afford the ring they might really like when they first get married and “upgrade” later for an anniversary. That would have been fine. Ruhiyyih is not materialistic and she didn't want a big stone. In fact, when it was mentioned prior to all this, she just wanted to make sure the stone would be a conflict-free stone.
So I see Grace and Mercy. That's what this gift represents.
I also see his Provision. As I said, and probably many of you already know now, we have been praying for a good job for me for about 10 months. I used to make good money, and I quit my job in January 2007 to get into the Mortgage industry with a good friend that had been in that line of work for years. In hindsight, it was the worst timing ever. It took me a while to finally 'get it' too – we thought maybe things would level out and rebound for way too long. Eventually I threw in the towel and have been working through a temp agency for months. But God has provided a wonderful woman for me to marry, and provided plane tickets to see each other, cell phones to call one another, and finally this ring, among many other things. He can provide the job as well. I see this ring as a promise from Him that He will take care of us.
And I see God's Love. It all comes from that anyway – Grace, Mercy, and Provision all come to us because God's character in the first place is Love and He loves us all.
The other lesson is this is that God uses people to be a vessel for blessing to others & we can all (potentially) be that for someone. I encourage you to look around wherever you are.
Again, I am honored and humbled. I hope that our story only encourages other people around us, points everyone to the Source of Grace, Mercy, Love, and Provision of all types, and gives Him the glory.
Thanks for reading,
Matt, Ruhiyyih's very excited fiancee
Matt snapped a pic of me when we were out to dinner with some friends. I was eating outside, in Washington state, with ferries going by...and we were treated to the dinner as an engagement gift. So wonderful!
The family was all together on the Fourth! Taraz, Mom, me & baby Daniel, Anne, Rue, Rahmat, Daisy, sister Laurel and Mehran and Matt on the ground. Dad took the pic!
Matty and his precious niece - fun family time!
Making my temporary room at my folks all clean and cute...this was the first part: steam cleaning the carpets to get rid of the "cat" - I had the sniffles so bad!
Time outside - last week on the camping trip, Matt was able to come up and join us for a night. We took the canoe out, and had a great time!
Fun with my sister-in-law, Anne, and her new little baby!
Too much fun!
